In Judy Blume’s classic 1972 novel It’s Not the End of the World, we meet Karen Newman, a sixth-grade student whose parents’ impending divorce causes traumatic changes in her life at home and at school. The book was hailed by critics as a masterful portrayal of divorce from a child’s point of view and deals with the anxiety and pain that can come with the breakup of a family.
Over fifty years later, we can all agree that our children can be deeply affected by their parents’ divorce, and that these hard-to-process emotions can negatively impact kids’ behavior, grades and other social relationships.
However, divorce doesn’t have to be the end of the world for your children. Here are some tips to help your kids come through a divorce with as little stress and trauma as possible.
Talk to them about what’s happening. It’s important to let your kids know you’re there for them with regular check-ins to talk about how they’re feeling about your divorce. Reassure them often that you both love them very much, and that your decision to end your marriage is not their fault. Talking to you can help your kids feel better about what’s going on and can also help you to be more responsive to their needs.
Encourage them to get involved in after-school activities. Being involved in school activities is a great way to make new friends and learn fun new skills and hobbies. It can also help children of divorcing parents stay focused on something positive and take their minds off of some of the heavier stuff. Additionally, attending school plays, dance recitals or soccer games with your soon-to-be ex-spouse is a good way to practice coparenting and positive communication, which will be highly beneficial to your kids once your divorce is finalized.
Have them speak to a therapist. For kids who are struggling to cope with their parents’ divorce, it is a good idea to seek professional help. A therapist who specializes in family issues can help your child to understand their feelings and provide coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress of their parents’ divorce.
Choosing mediation for a faster, less stressful divorce experience
In addition to these tips, you and your soon-to-be former spouse might benefit from choosing to settle your divorce through mediation instead of traditional courtroom litigation. Filing a Denver uncontested divorce and working with a mediator not only helps you reach a mutually beneficial settlement more quickly than a courtroom divorce, but also costs considerably less. Best of all, mediation encourages a cooperative, collaborative discussion about the key issues in your settlement, which can mean a much less stressful and painful experience for you and your children.
By choosing divorce mediation, your kids have an opportunity to see their parents work together to compromise on the best path forward for everyone involved, which can help them feel calmer and more optimistic about the future.
No matter which route you choose, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people with children go through a divorce, and there are plenty of resources available to help you all achieve the best possible outcome. With the right support, your kids can still thrive in school and in life.